Went to the grocery store with K.  We needed the usual supplies to keep things moving along at the Honeycomb Hideout.  She’s at the French Onion Dip picking out a brand, while I push the cart past an aisle, specifically the cleansers and detergents.

I look to my left, and there’s Birdman, in a mascot suit, strutting down right towards me.  We freeze for a moment and regard each other.  I scream like a betch and push my cart in a rush to escape this unexpected encounter.  Customers stare at me as if I’m the one who has lost their mind.  Don’t they realize Birdman has come for me?!

It useless to resist.  Birdman catches up to me ten feet from the orange juice and bips me on the genuine turtle fur hat I’m wearing.  He takes the bag of chips from my cart and makes gestures to the effect of “I’m eatin’ ur chips dood.”  Birdman doesn’t hesitate for a second; he just keeps walking and disappears down another aisle.

K looks at me with disgust, while some dude runs after birdman with a camera yelling, “Let me get a picture with you!”

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.  But that’s all I get!

Birdman continues to cause havoc in the grocery store.  At one point climbing into some poor overweight woman’s cart and making a scene.  I am not making this up!  He comes down the frozen food isle and I turn around trying to dodge him, but no use.  He returns my chips while K frowns at him with a real stinker look.

Birdman whistles at me and continues on his (her?  I dunno!) merry way.  It hits me.  The fool is everywhere at all times, free to go where he or she wishes.  What?  Did I think I was immune?  Ha!

As I’m standing in the checkout with K, a little kid is scared of Birdman and starts to scream bloody murder.  Birdman puts up his hand as if to say, “Not hearin’ this!”  He walks away.  K and I run the cart out of the store and that’s the last I see of Birdman.

I can’t help but feel that my squawking flight from Birdman was the right action.  How often does the weird happen and we pretend like it’s all okay?  Everyone looked at me screaming as if I was the crazy one!  I don’t regret running from Birdman one bit.  For one brief moment, I thought the Matrix had collapsed and it was everybody’s personal reality for themselves!

I hope he comes by again!