Mon 9 Nov 2009
Important Dionysian Research
Posted by laup under Cooking, Meditations, Outbreak, Playtime
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The spread of microbreweries throughout the country has had a positive effect I take considerable delight in—the proliferation of draft ciders.
When I discovered the pleasures of draft cider consumption, it was as if I had run into an old childhood friend—and discovered we had only truly begun to enjoy each other’s company.
Having taken the time to appreciate various kinds of the stuff, I now pass onto you the knowledge of my explorations. Many brands are not represented, for the reason that I either haven’t tried them or haven’t been able to get my hands on them enough to form an opinion.
For example, there are a number of French ciders that come in wine bottles that I’ve tried, but haven’t been able to do so more than a handful of times.
I’ve rated these ciders by a 1-100% number. This represents the chance that every time I drink a pint of these ciders, I get a point of Oh Yeah. Every point of Oh Yeah can be exchanged for a psychic coin toss to see if the scene you are in becomes Good Times—or you can get rid of a point of Jackup.
Because with every pint your body is dishing out a point of Jackup. 3 Jackups means You Lose. The body takes over, hope you are insured!
Hornsby’s (Regular and Dark And Dry)—31%
I started out with this brand, and put it through the long haul. Pretty bleh taste; slightly dry and tangy, a lot like a wine cooler. Once I found other brands, I left this one behind.
Hard Core—39%
A little sweeter than Hornsby’s, but something about the body felt a bit light. Tried to get into it, and for a while this was my alternate when the common Hornsby Jackups got tiresome.
Woodchuck Regular—53%
Pretty reliable flavor and effect. Very sweet, almost sickly so. Clear taste, potent effect. This became my staple for a long while. Slightly cheaper than Hornsby’s at the time. I felt the sulfites on this a lot less.
Woodchuck (Granny Smith, Dark And Dry, Pear)—63%
Switched to these when they became available. While I like “sweet”, the Woodchuck Regular was too sweet. The Granny mixed sweet with sour, and really felt like a quality cider. Dark And Dry mixes sweet with smoky, making for a heartier cider flavor. Not bad. We’re finally getting somewhere!
Woodchuck Rasberry—27%
Woodchuck rules, right? Not so fast! This flavor was way too sweet, a real disappointment. Like Hornsby’s, the flavor overwhelms the rest of the cider, only in this case it’s a little too strong. I’d really like to see a drier version of this, with less sweet.
Ace—29%
Dry and bubbly, almost too tart. I wanted to like this one, but Ace isn’t a cider you can really gulp. It’s more of a sipping draft, something you’d serve at a picnic or casual dinner.
Scrumpy’s—47%
All natural organic and low sulfite cider. Okay, this has got some good make-up. Strong, tasty flavor and packing a bonus round punch. Maybe too strong for me. Part of my ritual is about spending time with people. This takes me out a little too fast for my taste.
Original Sin—43%
Not bad. A little too much of a Woodchuck clone, cashing in on the flavor and feel. I found myself not handling these well after a while, perhaps due to a little less quality than Woodchuck.
Celtic—29%
Lacking much in the way of taste, or feel. Not the worst, just simply nothing going on here. This might work better for someone looking for a featureless cider.
Newton’s Folly (Granny Smith and Regular)—54%
Started hitting this at Trader Joe’s. Basically a less expensive, less sweet version of Woodchuck, with a little less punch. Have to say not bad at all! Got used to this for a while, always delivering and very little payback.
Harpoon—38%
Strong, sour flavor but grows on you. Doesn’t pack much of a punch though. I felt like I had to keep going to keep up. Not exactly my favorite.
Strongbow—64%
Maybe the English just know how to make real booze, I don’t know. Dry, strong, satisfying, but with a slight hint of sweetness. Packs a wallop up front, and follows up with a coup de grace if you aren’t careful. I think I’m in love here.
Cider Jack—54%
Back in the day, I used to have six pack of this every once in a while. Sweet, not very strong, and a little headachy. Then this brand disappeared and I haven’t seen it in a while. But now it’s come back several years later, and wow what a difference. Dry, strong, still some aftereffects but much reduced. I am impressed.
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