Wed 9 Dec 2009
The Box
Posted by laup under Meditations, Outbreak, Playtime, Supernal Diver, Weirdie
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Adjustments continue in the honeycomb hideout. The fallout from the haunted house has passed away and healing continues. K and I are doing decompression and decontamination procedures, putting furniture in place while we unpack the numerous storage units. Cleaning and minor repairs are moving along, as we make sure the heater is working, has a fresh filter, and the vents are all vacuumed out.
As I was passing by the secondary landing from the crow’s nest, Blink was poised before one of the storage units. She mewowed at me as if to say, “Hey whattabout this one?”
Oh yeah, that storage unit. The one that holds The Box. One of those things you just pick up on a perfectly unremarkable day, not unlike Edward Gorey’s The Doubtful Guest. Since I became the caretaker of The Box, I regard the contents and make adjustments, additions and subtractions as needed. Things appear and disappear, so I never quite know what to expect.
Well, crumbs. I suppose I ought to take The Box out and see what’s going on. So I clear my desk and unscrew the bolts. All the things inside are in a state of disarray and flux. The boxes are practically hopping up and down with the need for attention. The creatures, tools, and knick-knacks (at least I think they are knick-knacks, I’m not always sure) are all over the place.
But once I begin my meditations and direct my active imagination to the task, a new form takes shape inside The Box. The dimensions widen out, indicating the things don’t want to be stacked anymore. They want a horizon, a diorama of vast view. Take it all in instead of dig for layers.
A few things leave, some never to be seen again, others wanting to return to living in the honeycomb hideout after a long hypersleep into the future which is now. One item, my Kokeshi doll, no longer wishes to reside in The Box. Like a heroine going on an adventure, she won’t take no for an answer. She wants to see the world now, get involved. I’m a little taken aback, but what she says goes. I know she’s going to take a few hits, but maybe that will make her all the more beautiful and herself.
Then I get a real shock. The Kali-Yoni origami box I made (at Kali’s active-imagination request) has imploded open. Shrunk in on itself until it popped open in two pieces, yellow and black. I don’t know what was in that box, it was a secret so unknown it could only be conceived of in a void space of emptiness, never to be opened. I made it fully expecting it would never be opened.
There’s a crack in the top of The Box, to allow a view of the outside world. Sometimes I adjust The Box to accommodate these sorts of requests. Sometimes The Box does them itself. So whatever might have been in the origami box that is popped open could have gotten out.
Indeed, I find a trail of red cloth spilling out one end of the crack, as if whatever happened pulled along until it broke free. Yeah, I get the birth reference. I’m still stunned. I have to take a breather and stare for a good ten minutes before I get my act together again.
It’s almost as if I am a caretaker, a janitor and director at the same time of otherworldly things beyond my comprehension.
The new configuration slowly takes shape as I handle items and attend to their requests. Two slumbering monsters awaken with a loud roar, stirring the ocean of red cloths that form a kind of soft playing field for certain inhabitants. A beached behemoth finally finds a swathe of red sea foam suitable for it’s dense, impenetrable frame.
As I finish up this session of adjustment, a small lockless chest and brass symbol merge together in a way I would never have expected. They come from two different times and places, yet they fit together as if they were two pieces of a larger puzzle. I don’t think I can ever see these things the same, contemplating how incomprehensible their fitting together is. I mean, if the sun and moon became one for the first time, how transforming an event that would have been for life on this planet!
No order, and so there is pattern. Ceaseless change, and so there is eternity. I realize it has been so long…so distant a time when I attended to this responsibility on a regular basis. I’ve just been shuffling The Box from one battleground to another, barely keeping up with what is required. The Box used to be much larger than it is now. I used to be somebody too, or so I heard.
I pick up Peter Pan’s knife, and examine it closely. Hairline cracks in whatever it’s made of, a smell of fine myrrh coming from the claw on the pommel. Dare I remember the time I used to carry this in costume–before I walked away from Never-Never Land? Or was it Rima the Jungle Girl who gave this to me? I’m not quite sure. I couldn’t fight a codfish or smile at a crocodile to save my life now. Those days are long faded, as Lorien, Imladris, and the Grey Havens have passed into the West. Another century altogether.
I think of a dear friend, and the conversations we used to have before I discovered The Box. He drew out of me so many things about the haunted horrors I would face, he had to have been a prophet back then. Now he’s a doctor, struggling against the status quo, in a very lucky place to be. I beam every time I speak with him these days, he’s so awesome. Back then I pretended to take it in stride, but I missed nothing. He was right, so right on I had to pretend he was off the mark. But now I know better.
I close The Box, quite shaken.
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