I’m not fond of the word “conspiracy”, because in today’s propaganda the word is synonymous with “believes in UFOs”, and is used by party harpies to label people as crackpots who can be ignored and/or ridiculed. Granted, there are indeed crackpots out there who can be ignored and/or ridiculed, but the age-old problem in life is always, in Monty Python terms, to spot the loony.

I admit I have a certain voyeuristic fascination with “conspiracy” websites, in the same way I enjoy the carnival or a midnight movie. There’s truth, and there’s life in the phenomenon, but also madness and just plain ridiculous farce. The fool as well as the prophet walks the edges of humanity, and as always, can you spot the loony? Are you talking to an inspired madman, a dunce member of the know it all club, or a quack cashing in on the ignorance racket?

Bob Dylan sings a song about World War III, where everybody’s having the same dream. Everyone’s the last person on earth after the “end of the world”, walking around with no one else. He offers to be in other people’s dreams if they’ll be in his, but everybody wants to be off by themselves. As always, read into that what you will, and even question my synopsis. It seems like there’s an innate wish for the apocalypse in many people, and I think it’s a selfish wish. I’ve indulged in it too, that desire to be free of responsibility and to experience the judgment day we think everyone else has coming. Who doesn’t want the peace of the hermit in this day and age, when everyone is clamoring for elbow room, and there’s no more frontier to explore? Or even to just be the Omega Man, last hero or heroine of the wasteland to embody the remaining humanity of the world, to kill the evil scum mutants and save the survivors to rebuild the world, give it a second chance.

Like every fantasy, there’s a grain of gold in the vast sludge. Each of us is, in effect, “the last human”. It all really does depend on us, the individual. Not any group or mass of people. But it’s a psychic calling, not necessarily a physical one. You want to save the world, save yourself first, get right with what’s going on in your own life. That’s hard work, and it’s easier to succumb to the temptation to look for outside forces to embody that struggle you must fight and win in your imagination to triumph over the night-blasters.

So I’m reading what I’ve often thought of as an “independent” news site, with good commentary and reporting on issues happening in the world that you just don’t ever see at all on the mainstream news, even though you’re paying for cable to indoctrinate you. And I come across a commentator promising to elaborate on one of those “oh so secret meetings” the super-rich and powerful hold to decide the fate of the world. Well, why not, I’m always curious to hear what the “men of best quality” are supposedly up to.

Before I know it, the text starts to read like one of those insane diatribes you expect to find on the False Prophet channel, and I’m reading yet another of those tiresome “United Nations Will Take Over The World” arguments, interspersed with jumbled information about what the “secret members” of the “super-secret meetings” may or may not have been up to. Very little in the way of facts, or even assertions. Not even a dang-blasted opinion! The general message is they’re out to get you, those rich people, and you can’t trust the UN! Ha-cha-cha-cha!

For goodness sake! I think we just spotted Wham-Bam-Biscuit-Barrel.

I was sad, because this sort of thing lowers the credibility of a news website, and I have to look at this link and wonder if the reliability (not to mention the entertainment value) is waning. Letting in false prophets is generally a sign that Imperial Troops Have Entered the Base, and you may as well blast off to the next waypoint.

But most of all it gets my goat. Nothing irritates me more than when “conspiracy” addicts stop reporting what they know, and start predicting the future. You can spot it a mile away. They stop showing you what they found and start telling you what’s going on. This guy sounded like he went to a hotel convention for some patricians who work for the super-rich he heard about on the internet, was shocked when nobody let him in, overheard a few elevator conversations, got kicked out by security, then had to make a bunch of stuff up while downing some cappuccinos in an internet cafe.

So, clue in “conspiracy” addicts:

  1. No, the United Nations is not going to “take over the world”. The “men of best quality” could care less about their grandfather’s rubber stamp.
  2. No, “the rich people” aren’t “out to get you”. You’re “the great unwashed masses” and don’t even show up on the viewscreen.

Now get back to talking about UFOs.